The first signs that my head is exploding: My internet journal at mental age 13
Yesterday I ate so much I thought my stomach was going to explode. It was a really super awesome feeling. In fact, it was so awesome that I went home and passed out. On my couch. Until 7 am this morning. Any day I go home and pass out until 7 am in the morning is a relatively good day. I woke up and swept the floor and oh my goodness it became sooo clean because you know what I swept it twice. It was really awesome and I felt good about myself. I had crispix for breakfast and it was nice, even if I was using that organic milk which is usually pretty ok but sometimes not so awesome because, well, sometimes organic milk is really expensive, on account of the organic cows who have to make it. I bought some apple cider the other day; I've finally discovered the difference between apple juice and cider - in the states, apple cider is NOT alcoholic. This was a big revelation. I mean, sometimes you have to realize that not everything is alcoholic. Yeah, that's right. It isn't.
I had a good shit this morning. Yeah, it was kind of stinky, but you always have kind of turbulent shits after drinking. Which is the point. Since I didn't drink yesterday, I had a nice, smooth shit. Like, it just plopped right out. Which was awesome. It sucks when you sit on the toilet and go, 'oh fuck man, this sucks, prrtttt, prrttt prtttrrtrttt' or some shit like that. Yeah, that really sucks balls. I hate it. But man, when you sit down and get the solid splash splash sounds, now that is truly frickin' awesome. Yeah.
Even though I had a pretty good sleep last night (despite waking up every other hour or so from random noises, such as my roommate moving around every five seconds, or the evil monkey ghosts on my roof), I still fell asleep in Japanese class. My teacher made a joke about that; he said, 'oh look, that guy's falling asleep again' and everyone laughed, so I guess it must have been funny. I didn't get the joke, but maybe that's just because I was so friggin' sleepy. Maybe this is because I haven't been smoking enough cigarettes. Maybe I should start using the patch. The nicotine patch, I mean, except it makes me itchy. I mean, I wonder if I'm going to be able to quit smoking this time. There's always the little voice in the back of my head saying, 'man, you'll never be able to do it, it's not going to work, you suck as a person.' Do you ever get that voice? I mean, sometimes I suppose we all get that voice in our heads, but that can't be something that happens all the time, or we'd all go crazy, right?
So now I'm sitting in the computer lab and smiling at the girl sitting opposite me because she's kind of cute and hey, why not? I'm sure we always do stuff like that. It's nice to smile at pretty people, yeah? You see all these cute people all the time and usually you're just all like, hey, she's kind of cute, but I always wondered what would happen if you just smiled at them all the time instead. Maybe they'd think you were kind of cool and you'd get to know them or something, but then again maybe they'd just think you were crazy, you know what I mean? I mean, maybe they'd think you were a psycho or something and you could never have that, could you? I mean, it would really suck if people thought you were a psycho. Maybe the police would come and put you in prison or something. And maybe in prison you'd get fucked up the ass, which would suck, since I'm not gay. I don't want to be fucked up in the ass. Which makes me wonder, what do gay people do in prison? Do they like being fucked up the ass all the time? Maybe not by the really nasty, fat dudes, but hey, if you were a buff gay dude in prison, wouldn't you, like, just have a sex fest? I'm sure gay guys like the bad boy types, right? I mean, shit, I bet gay guys have much better times in prison than the straight dudes. Maybe they should just make prisons co-ed. I guess that really wouldn't work, though, because then everyone in prison would be having fun times, right? Then nobody would want to come out and we'd all be fucked. Or maybe they would. Who knows.
So what's the point of all of this, you're asking? I really don't know. But then, how do we know anything? We really don't. What's going on? Who are you? Who am I? Fucking A! I'm tired. I need a candy bar. Yeah, that's right, so until later, I mean, yeah. Byeeee!!!!!!!!
Yesterday I ate so much I thought my stomach was going to explode. It was a really super awesome feeling. In fact, it was so awesome that I went home and passed out. On my couch. Until 7 am this morning. Any day I go home and pass out until 7 am in the morning is a relatively good day. I woke up and swept the floor and oh my goodness it became sooo clean because you know what I swept it twice. It was really awesome and I felt good about myself. I had crispix for breakfast and it was nice, even if I was using that organic milk which is usually pretty ok but sometimes not so awesome because, well, sometimes organic milk is really expensive, on account of the organic cows who have to make it. I bought some apple cider the other day; I've finally discovered the difference between apple juice and cider - in the states, apple cider is NOT alcoholic. This was a big revelation. I mean, sometimes you have to realize that not everything is alcoholic. Yeah, that's right. It isn't.
I had a good shit this morning. Yeah, it was kind of stinky, but you always have kind of turbulent shits after drinking. Which is the point. Since I didn't drink yesterday, I had a nice, smooth shit. Like, it just plopped right out. Which was awesome. It sucks when you sit on the toilet and go, 'oh fuck man, this sucks, prrtttt, prrttt prtttrrtrttt' or some shit like that. Yeah, that really sucks balls. I hate it. But man, when you sit down and get the solid splash splash sounds, now that is truly frickin' awesome. Yeah.
Even though I had a pretty good sleep last night (despite waking up every other hour or so from random noises, such as my roommate moving around every five seconds, or the evil monkey ghosts on my roof), I still fell asleep in Japanese class. My teacher made a joke about that; he said, 'oh look, that guy's falling asleep again' and everyone laughed, so I guess it must have been funny. I didn't get the joke, but maybe that's just because I was so friggin' sleepy. Maybe this is because I haven't been smoking enough cigarettes. Maybe I should start using the patch. The nicotine patch, I mean, except it makes me itchy. I mean, I wonder if I'm going to be able to quit smoking this time. There's always the little voice in the back of my head saying, 'man, you'll never be able to do it, it's not going to work, you suck as a person.' Do you ever get that voice? I mean, sometimes I suppose we all get that voice in our heads, but that can't be something that happens all the time, or we'd all go crazy, right?
So now I'm sitting in the computer lab and smiling at the girl sitting opposite me because she's kind of cute and hey, why not? I'm sure we always do stuff like that. It's nice to smile at pretty people, yeah? You see all these cute people all the time and usually you're just all like, hey, she's kind of cute, but I always wondered what would happen if you just smiled at them all the time instead. Maybe they'd think you were kind of cool and you'd get to know them or something, but then again maybe they'd just think you were crazy, you know what I mean? I mean, maybe they'd think you were a psycho or something and you could never have that, could you? I mean, it would really suck if people thought you were a psycho. Maybe the police would come and put you in prison or something. And maybe in prison you'd get fucked up the ass, which would suck, since I'm not gay. I don't want to be fucked up in the ass. Which makes me wonder, what do gay people do in prison? Do they like being fucked up the ass all the time? Maybe not by the really nasty, fat dudes, but hey, if you were a buff gay dude in prison, wouldn't you, like, just have a sex fest? I'm sure gay guys like the bad boy types, right? I mean, shit, I bet gay guys have much better times in prison than the straight dudes. Maybe they should just make prisons co-ed. I guess that really wouldn't work, though, because then everyone in prison would be having fun times, right? Then nobody would want to come out and we'd all be fucked. Or maybe they would. Who knows.
So what's the point of all of this, you're asking? I really don't know. But then, how do we know anything? We really don't. What's going on? Who are you? Who am I? Fucking A! I'm tired. I need a candy bar. Yeah, that's right, so until later, I mean, yeah. Byeeee!!!!!!!!
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