Last Night in Japan.

Tokyo. Ikebukuro. It is rainy. I cannot find the apostrophe on these fucking Japanese keyboards. To make it worse, this keyboard has a strange chinese (I assume) twist. I have found myself in a hotel where the proprietors, and almost all the clients, are chinese. Cantonese is flying everywhere, with bits of Hokkien and a liberal dose of Mandarin. It's strangely reassuring, but still ridiculously bizarre. If anyone coming to Japan is interested, it's called House Ikebukuro (in Japanese, hausu ikebukuro).

As I type this, Cantonese drama serials are playing in the background. I am waiting for my buddy to get his shit together so we can hit Takadanobaba. More details of the trip later. If anyone's still interested, that is. OH MY GOD! I FOUND THE FUCKING APOSTROPHE! FUCKS YEAH!

Last Burst of Bubbles

So I'm off to Japan on Thursday. This is an exciting thing. My wallpaper at the moment is Arsenal's official double winning wallpaper from last season, when we won more than that silly mickey mouse cup. This is not an exciting thing. It does, however, make me happy, much like hanging out with old friends, because I am a sentimental young fart. I've been exceptionally stupid today, saying stupid things a lot because it makes me happy. Dinner with a strange mix at maxwell; two groups of friends who I think had a little trouble mixing. After a while it was a more customary foursome; we went on to discuss a method for cooking duck curry such that the meat would be both tasty and succulent. I also realised that my memory is failing me at 21, having insisted that I had gone to Smith street with a known local ice-soursop eater. I have now confirmed in my incontinent mind that these memories were all but made up by my silly little head.

Prioritising is always stressful. I do, however, take some obnoxious glee in deciding who not to see. I make a list of people and label them as 'people I don't have to see until after the trip'. This is my puerile vengeance for minor slights, like not answering the phone on a certain occasion, or calling me a shorty (yes, ESPECIALLY for slights like calling me a shorty). I get to put these people in a little mental box and say, 'AHA! I will NOT spend any time with you because you SUCK!' and this makes me happy. What sucks, though, is having to plan my trip, play enough playstation games so Jamin doesn't kick my butt at all of them when I come back, and also do enough productive bullshit to assuage my guilt about blowing shitloads of money and time on an expedition to the land of tiny cute things with big adorable anime eyes. As usual, however, I remain cool as a cucumber in the sweltering sub-tropics. This is because I am awesome, much like a freak heat wave in December.

I think there should be a smokeless cigarette. Or maybe I should buy some of those candies that look like cigarettes so I don't smoke so much. I am, however, going to Japan. I think I will smoke a lot there. Maybe I will buy a carton of cheap ass cigarettes and smoke them all. This would give me cancer and I would die.

I have a lot of stupid ideas in my muddled head. In some twisted way, however, I think that's the most awesome thing about me.

For all you personality quiz fanatics, here's one I designed myself:

Do you annoy the fuck out of me?

1) Are you a smartypants?
2) Are you a dumbass?
3) Do you enjoy talking about politics?
4) Do you enjoy listening to boy bands which suck ass and should die?
5) Do you support Manchester United?
6) Have you never heard of Manchester United?
7) Do you think football involves people wearing helmets and grunting?
8) Do you use web lingo (brb, lol, omg) in daily conversation?
9) Do you use web lingo at all?
10) Do you think emoticons are cute?
11) Do you find yourself typing in incomplete sentences?
12) Do you have a mission in life?
13) Have you ever dragged me out of bed against my will?
14) Are you incredibly fat?
15) Are you the sort of person who never answers his/her cell phone?
16) Are you senile?
17) Do you enjoy asking stupid questions?
18) Do you whine a lot?
19) Do you think beer is crass?
20) Do you spend most of your time studying?
21) Do you view yourself as a 'global citizen'?
22) Are you in the 'eat to live' camp (as opposed to the 'live to eat' camp)?
23) Are you often late for appointments with me?
24) Would people describe your dress sense as 'shocking, yet refreshing'?
25) Do you view apathy as a disease?
26) Do you make jokes about height?
27) Are you unfriendly?
28) Are you a freeloader? Especially when it comes to ciggies?
29) Are you easily offended?
30) Are you the sensitive sort?

If the answer to any of these questions is yes, chances are you annoy me. If the answer to a shitload of these questions is yes, you probably annoy the fuck out of me. If the answer to all these questions is no, you're probably lying, you lying fuck. I fucking hate lying fucks. You lose. Hahahahaha!