Monday, April 28, 2003

Druce's Birthday

Evan is a social being. No Evan is an island. Not this Evan, anyway. Evan likes company, especially when he's drunk. But Evan has loads and loads of friends, much unlike his roommate, who seems to have a penchant for getting drunk and belching on his computer. This weekend was pretty productive for the Druce. He learnt that soda and computers do not mix, and that it pays to be nice to be strangers. Also, he got ass. Yes, Evan is no slouch when it comes to the cat and mouse games of attraction, much unlike his roommate, who seems to think sexual fulfillment is at the end of a bottle of the champagne of beers. Evan often goes out to hunt at night, and sometimes he comes back victorious with 'champion' writ across his face and some ass in his little piggy bank of ass to tide him through the bleak chicago days.

In other news, it was Evan's birthday this weekend. His roommate bought him a keg of beer, which was surprisingly considerate. It's a mystery that the man was gone from his bed long enough to achieve such a gargantuan task. The next day, the roommate went on his beer run and got lots of beer (roughly 48 bottles). Evan thinks that this beer will last them about 3 weeks. His roommate estimated about 1 and a half.

Needless to say, Evan had a lot of fun this weekend. In some twisted way, it's arguable his roommate did too. As for everybody else reading this, take Evan's example, and go out and find some ass, unless you have some on call, in which case you are a dick and I hope you die.

Wednesday, April 09, 2003

The Druce, the Druce.

Today Evan went beer hunting with his roommate. Evan really appreciates good beer. The roommate, on the other hand, pretty much drinks anything in the straw-brown colour range. Not that the colour would matter, seeing as to how Evan's roommate is colour-deficient, but hey. Evan doesn't mind knocking back some swill from time to time, though. Piss water is awesome, especially when it gives you gas.

Any day Evan gets beer, though, is usually a good day. Today was definitely a good day. Evan got an 18-pack of Miller High Life, a 12-pack of Foster's and a 6-pack of Goose Island for special occasions. After that he went to Harold's Chicken Shack, because he really likes fried chicken. Fried chicken is, to Evan, definitely one of the better things about the world, along with encased meats. Evan loves encased meats. It was cold waiting for the bus, but Evan had a Diet Pepsi. His roommate gave him stick about buying a diet beverage, but Evan was raised on Diet Pepsi, and he drinks what he likes.

To wrap up the night, Evan sat in front of his computer watching random flash animations. Some days you just have to take a look at all the random stuff they have on the internet. For all those other days, though, there's Sims Online. But Evan's played enough Sims Online today, and you always have to save something for tomorrow.

Wednesday, April 02, 2003

Can't get enough of the Druce

Some days Evan just disappears; that's part of his mystery. Nobody quite knows where Evan goes, but before you know it, there he is again, grinning because only he knows his little secret. Evan is mysterious like that. He's a sexy beast. Evan prowls the dorms like a hyena; don't let his easy laugh fool you, he's a real predator, Evan is. Sometimes he just sits around in front of his computer in a towel, because he feels like it. That's what a bad ass Evan is.

Bar night is a good time to be Evan; Evan is in his element at bar night. He circles like a bird of prey until he spots his target, then he moves in for the kill. Sometimes he just wants to talk - Evan is unpredictable like that - you never know what to expect with Evan. Every wednesday, Evan comes back smelling of beer, but he's a big boy now. He knows what he's doing.

When Evan comes home from bar night, sometimes he likes to watch bad tv with his roommate. Evan likes watching bad tv from time to time; it gives things perspective. It just goes to show how awesome Evan is.