Druce's Birthday
Evan is a social being. No Evan is an island. Not this Evan, anyway. Evan likes company, especially when he's drunk. But Evan has loads and loads of friends, much unlike his roommate, who seems to have a penchant for getting drunk and belching on his computer. This weekend was pretty productive for the Druce. He learnt that soda and computers do not mix, and that it pays to be nice to be strangers. Also, he got ass. Yes, Evan is no slouch when it comes to the cat and mouse games of attraction, much unlike his roommate, who seems to think sexual fulfillment is at the end of a bottle of the champagne of beers. Evan often goes out to hunt at night, and sometimes he comes back victorious with 'champion' writ across his face and some ass in his little piggy bank of ass to tide him through the bleak chicago days.
In other news, it was Evan's birthday this weekend. His roommate bought him a keg of beer, which was surprisingly considerate. It's a mystery that the man was gone from his bed long enough to achieve such a gargantuan task. The next day, the roommate went on his beer run and got lots of beer (roughly 48 bottles). Evan thinks that this beer will last them about 3 weeks. His roommate estimated about 1 and a half.
Needless to say, Evan had a lot of fun this weekend. In some twisted way, it's arguable his roommate did too. As for everybody else reading this, take Evan's example, and go out and find some ass, unless you have some on call, in which case you are a dick and I hope you die.
Evan is a social being. No Evan is an island. Not this Evan, anyway. Evan likes company, especially when he's drunk. But Evan has loads and loads of friends, much unlike his roommate, who seems to have a penchant for getting drunk and belching on his computer. This weekend was pretty productive for the Druce. He learnt that soda and computers do not mix, and that it pays to be nice to be strangers. Also, he got ass. Yes, Evan is no slouch when it comes to the cat and mouse games of attraction, much unlike his roommate, who seems to think sexual fulfillment is at the end of a bottle of the champagne of beers. Evan often goes out to hunt at night, and sometimes he comes back victorious with 'champion' writ across his face and some ass in his little piggy bank of ass to tide him through the bleak chicago days.
In other news, it was Evan's birthday this weekend. His roommate bought him a keg of beer, which was surprisingly considerate. It's a mystery that the man was gone from his bed long enough to achieve such a gargantuan task. The next day, the roommate went on his beer run and got lots of beer (roughly 48 bottles). Evan thinks that this beer will last them about 3 weeks. His roommate estimated about 1 and a half.
Needless to say, Evan had a lot of fun this weekend. In some twisted way, it's arguable his roommate did too. As for everybody else reading this, take Evan's example, and go out and find some ass, unless you have some on call, in which case you are a dick and I hope you die.
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