So I was eating pig in church today, because it was the pork roast and all, and yeah, I figured, dude, I'm actually a cabbage, so why is I eating all these pigs? I mean, we're all cosmically linked, except we're not, and I'm actually a friggin cabbage, so we should cut these pigs and things a break, right?

Think, for a while, of all the hot cabbage sex, fornicating in the ground with all those hot foreign cabbages! Is it just me, or did this chatroom get a little steamy? Oooh, cabbages.

And so, off I go on another tribute to cabbage life:

Today, dear humans, hear my cries!
I am a cabbage in disguise!
Abandon all your hows and whys,
I am a cabbage in disguise!
Unlike the fruit that merely tries,
I AM a cabbage in disguise!
And while our number multiplies,
I am A cabbage in disguise!
No other vegetable applies!
I am a CABBAGE in disguise!
About time that you realise,
I am a cabbage IN disguise!
So why do I not attract flies?
I am a cabbage in DISGUISE!
And so my friends, hear my reprise;
I am a cabbage in disguise!
I AM A CABBAGE, IN DISGUIIIIIIIISSSSSEEEEE!!!!!!!