I spent my day rediscovering the joys of television; woke up at around 10, rolled to the side of the bed and picked up the remote control - from then on, it was all downhill. 9 hours and several sitcoms later (I just love sitcoms), here I am, sharing my day with all you unconcerned people on the internet. I know, I know, my life is so full of joy, ain't it. I've been reading strangers' livejournals - it's such a strange, voyeuristic sort of pleasure, taking sneak peeks into
the private (or maybe not so private) lives of all these pseudo-exhibitionists who see fit to share their sordid sex stories or erstwhile erotic escapades with complete digital strangers (you can see which livejournals have caught my attention, and I make no apologies); though I might not have as much sex as any of these people, I guess I'm one of the exhibitionists as well, standing with my figurative trenchcoat around the corner winking at people. Sometimes I disgust myself.
I was taking a shit just now and I realised the John Cage (Ally McBeal) and Johnny Cage (Mortal Kombat) are two extremely different fictional characters. So I was wondering, which one am I more similar to? Or perhaps more importantly, which one would I rather be? This is more pointless speculation. Go me.
On the subject of Johnny Cage, I would like to speak up on the plight of Asian characters in electronic fighting games (and also their resulting movie franchises):
First on our list is Ryu in Street Fighter 2. No doubt he is everyone's favourite (or at least second favourite) character, but you'd think he'd at least get to hook up with the token Asian chick. The game producers, however, say no! Instead, he gets to walk off into the sunset looking for more fighting. No wonder why he's such a kick ass fighter. It must be all the pent up sexual frustration.
Next on our list we have Jin Kazama in Tekken. What prize does he get for being the king of iron fist? He gets to get possessed by the devil! Whilst Paul Phoenix and Steve Bruce get to fraternize with scantily clad women, Jin gets to have a free for all with his grandfather. It's a wonder he keeps coming back for more.
Finally, back to Mortal Kombat - it's not difficult to tell who has more fun between Johnny Cage and Liu Kang (in the movie, anyway). Despite the fact that he's so clearly the more respectful, more determined and much nicer guy, or the fact that he can probably kick Johnny's ass, Johnny gets to run off and rescue Sonja, whereas Liu Kang gets to have a duel to the death showdown with Shang Tsung. Yippee. His prize for winning? The freed soul of his dead brother. Hurrah.
So, in the final analysis, what's the prize for being a respectful Asian kung fu master? A dead brother, a dead arch-nemesis (so you can't even beat someone up when you're pissed off) and your fist of fury, which will very likely be used to furiously beat on your meat. Oh, the joy.
I'm such a bitter little shit.
the private (or maybe not so private) lives of all these pseudo-exhibitionists who see fit to share their sordid sex stories or erstwhile erotic escapades with complete digital strangers (you can see which livejournals have caught my attention, and I make no apologies); though I might not have as much sex as any of these people, I guess I'm one of the exhibitionists as well, standing with my figurative trenchcoat around the corner winking at people. Sometimes I disgust myself.
I was taking a shit just now and I realised the John Cage (Ally McBeal) and Johnny Cage (Mortal Kombat) are two extremely different fictional characters. So I was wondering, which one am I more similar to? Or perhaps more importantly, which one would I rather be? This is more pointless speculation. Go me.
On the subject of Johnny Cage, I would like to speak up on the plight of Asian characters in electronic fighting games (and also their resulting movie franchises):
First on our list is Ryu in Street Fighter 2. No doubt he is everyone's favourite (or at least second favourite) character, but you'd think he'd at least get to hook up with the token Asian chick. The game producers, however, say no! Instead, he gets to walk off into the sunset looking for more fighting. No wonder why he's such a kick ass fighter. It must be all the pent up sexual frustration.
Next on our list we have Jin Kazama in Tekken. What prize does he get for being the king of iron fist? He gets to get possessed by the devil! Whilst Paul Phoenix and Steve Bruce get to fraternize with scantily clad women, Jin gets to have a free for all with his grandfather. It's a wonder he keeps coming back for more.
Finally, back to Mortal Kombat - it's not difficult to tell who has more fun between Johnny Cage and Liu Kang (in the movie, anyway). Despite the fact that he's so clearly the more respectful, more determined and much nicer guy, or the fact that he can probably kick Johnny's ass, Johnny gets to run off and rescue Sonja, whereas Liu Kang gets to have a duel to the death showdown with Shang Tsung. Yippee. His prize for winning? The freed soul of his dead brother. Hurrah.
So, in the final analysis, what's the prize for being a respectful Asian kung fu master? A dead brother, a dead arch-nemesis (so you can't even beat someone up when you're pissed off) and your fist of fury, which will very likely be used to furiously beat on your meat. Oh, the joy.
I'm such a bitter little shit.
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