The End of the Druce Saga
So it's been decided. The Druce saga is ending. It's been fun living with the kid, but seeing as to how I'm soon changing roommates, I find it a little pointless to continue recounting Evan's daily escapades. If it hasn't shown, I've grown a little attached to the boy, but I'm confident that the Druce will abide, and I take comfort in that. I doubt there'll be a series on the adventures of the Goldenberg; my prospective roommate is cool, but I think there's a certain quirkiness about Evan that's much better suited to prose.
That being said, it's back to boring old me on this, a mundane monday in a string of mundane mondays. I spent the weekend watching back to back episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm and trying to get to sleep before 1. I find that the lower you set your goals, the easier it is to achieve them. It's true, too.
Today I got an email from CUSA asking me to write a short scene based on the prompt 'character(s) going to see a movie'; I doubt I can write anything awesome in a day, but I figure I'll give it a shot right now:
A cinema. Two guys are watching a movie. They have popcorn. It looks like popcorn. They are eating it. They start a little whispering conversation, you know, in the middle of the movie. Everyone does it now and again, don't look so innocent you little fuck, I bet you've done it too.
A: So who's this guy again?
B: He's the bad guy.
A: He doesn't look like the bad guy.
B: That's the point; they never look like the bad guy. That makes them more evil.
A: Who thought of that idea? That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard.
B: No, it's clever. That way you're always thinking.
A: Thinking about what? How society is going to shit?
B: Why would you be thinking that?
A: Because if all the bad guys look like good guys, it's pretty obvious society is going to shit.
B: Well, that's not what you're thinking about. You're wondering who the bad guy is.
A: No you're not.
B: Yes you are, because he looks like a normal guy. You can't tell if he's evil or whatever.
A: But you just told me, he's the bad guy.
B: I've seen it before.
A: So you just spoiled it for me.
B (getting a little upset): No I didn't.
A: Yes you did. You just told me he's the bad guy.
B: Didn't you know that by now?
A: If I'd had known, I wouldn't have asked you.
B: What, haven't you been watching the movie?
A: Eh, I've been floating in and out.
B: I don't believe you.
A: It just isn't that good a movie. Besides, you spoiled it for me.
B: How did I spoil it for you?
A: Now I know who the bad guy is. The whole moment of truth in the middle of the movie? That's not going to work for me now. I'm going to be, like, yeah, that's the bad guy, move on.
B: If you'd been watching the movie, you would have known this dude is uber evil.
A: He doesn't look very evil.
B: He really is.
C (turning around): Do you mind?
A: We're having a discussion here.
C: It's a fucking movie. It's not a fucking discussion, it's a movie.
B: We're whispering.
C: Just shut the fuck up, alright?
A: Hey, fuck you.
C: No, fuck you!
Everyone around them goes shhh. They all pipe down. C turns around, disgruntled. A gives him the finger and makes a face.
A (under his breath): Asshole.
B: Hey, hey, pay attention.
A: Oh my god, what's he doing?
B: He's killing her.
A: Fuck, he really is the bad guy, isn't he.
B: That's what I was telling you.
A: Wow.
I've been watching too much Curb Your Enthusiasm.
So it's been decided. The Druce saga is ending. It's been fun living with the kid, but seeing as to how I'm soon changing roommates, I find it a little pointless to continue recounting Evan's daily escapades. If it hasn't shown, I've grown a little attached to the boy, but I'm confident that the Druce will abide, and I take comfort in that. I doubt there'll be a series on the adventures of the Goldenberg; my prospective roommate is cool, but I think there's a certain quirkiness about Evan that's much better suited to prose.
That being said, it's back to boring old me on this, a mundane monday in a string of mundane mondays. I spent the weekend watching back to back episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm and trying to get to sleep before 1. I find that the lower you set your goals, the easier it is to achieve them. It's true, too.
Today I got an email from CUSA asking me to write a short scene based on the prompt 'character(s) going to see a movie'; I doubt I can write anything awesome in a day, but I figure I'll give it a shot right now:
A cinema. Two guys are watching a movie. They have popcorn. It looks like popcorn. They are eating it. They start a little whispering conversation, you know, in the middle of the movie. Everyone does it now and again, don't look so innocent you little fuck, I bet you've done it too.
A: So who's this guy again?
B: He's the bad guy.
A: He doesn't look like the bad guy.
B: That's the point; they never look like the bad guy. That makes them more evil.
A: Who thought of that idea? That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard.
B: No, it's clever. That way you're always thinking.
A: Thinking about what? How society is going to shit?
B: Why would you be thinking that?
A: Because if all the bad guys look like good guys, it's pretty obvious society is going to shit.
B: Well, that's not what you're thinking about. You're wondering who the bad guy is.
A: No you're not.
B: Yes you are, because he looks like a normal guy. You can't tell if he's evil or whatever.
A: But you just told me, he's the bad guy.
B: I've seen it before.
A: So you just spoiled it for me.
B (getting a little upset): No I didn't.
A: Yes you did. You just told me he's the bad guy.
B: Didn't you know that by now?
A: If I'd had known, I wouldn't have asked you.
B: What, haven't you been watching the movie?
A: Eh, I've been floating in and out.
B: I don't believe you.
A: It just isn't that good a movie. Besides, you spoiled it for me.
B: How did I spoil it for you?
A: Now I know who the bad guy is. The whole moment of truth in the middle of the movie? That's not going to work for me now. I'm going to be, like, yeah, that's the bad guy, move on.
B: If you'd been watching the movie, you would have known this dude is uber evil.
A: He doesn't look very evil.
B: He really is.
C (turning around): Do you mind?
A: We're having a discussion here.
C: It's a fucking movie. It's not a fucking discussion, it's a movie.
B: We're whispering.
C: Just shut the fuck up, alright?
A: Hey, fuck you.
C: No, fuck you!
Everyone around them goes shhh. They all pipe down. C turns around, disgruntled. A gives him the finger and makes a face.
A (under his breath): Asshole.
B: Hey, hey, pay attention.
A: Oh my god, what's he doing?
B: He's killing her.
A: Fuck, he really is the bad guy, isn't he.
B: That's what I was telling you.
A: Wow.
I've been watching too much Curb Your Enthusiasm.
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