The world, my friends, is divided into good ideas and bad ideas. Here is a foolproof plan to make sure you never do anything you might regret.

Firstly, you should identify everything that is a bad idea. Any confessions of brotherly love, for example, are almost invariably bad ideas. Anything involving automobiles and inebriation could also be interpreted as such. For example, 'let's drive to Milwaukee because we're drunk!' is a bad idea. Talking to anyone you're vaguely interested in romantically while fucked up is also, so to speak, a bad idea. There are several bad ideas. Once you realise that there is a good chance you might get 'fucked up' in a given period of time, it is a good, note, GOOD, idea, to realise that you are slightly fucked up and should not do anything on your 'list of bad ideas list,' because that would suck, and you would potentially regret it.

What more is there to say about bad ideas? Oh yes - writing on your blog, especially when a little drunk, is generally speaking, a prime example of a 'bad idea'. With that thought, I bid you, my long-suffering audience, goodnight. Goodnight!