It's snowing out - the land is covered in a blanket of white. It's all nice and pretty, like I imagined it would be. I'm just back from a christmas eve dinner and the opening of presents on christmas day that customarily follows. I have a brand new rice cooker on my bed - how sweet, how thoughtful of them! Just what I needed, too. Somehow, though, my heart isn't quite in Indiana - it's everywhere else; it's in Beijing, with the 5 people dearest to my heart, it's in Singapore, in the room I hope will still be mine when I get back, it's somewhere else in America, with a special someone or other - it just doesn't seem to be Christmas unless it's spent with the people you really care for. It's been too long since I've seen home, and while Indiana in many ways comes close, it just isn't the real deal. I was in Penang (the restaurant) a while ago and remember thinking that the food there didn't really taste of Singapore; it just reminds you of what Singapore food is supposed to taste like. This is how it is with my home away from home - it's a nice reminder of the way things are supposed to be.

I'm sure that the long absence is playing on my heart in some ways - I haven't been expecting a perfect, rosy welcome when I get back - still, I remember a certain warmth that I haven't felt in a long time; it's like something in me is dying, and that's always a little sad.

I suppose though, the fact that I miss them only means that they still have a place in my heart - staring out at the whiteness, wishing they were here, I'm somehow certain of the fact that, as they walk through the snow in the streets of Beijing, they're wishing I was with them too. If you're reading this guys, I love you. Merry Christmas.