I have been away far too long, in my humble opinion. I know most of you have 101 better things to do than to read my shit, but hey, I enjoy inflicting myself on all of you, and I like the reassurance that I have a voice. The question is, do I?

So, apparently, I've gotten stuck with a bit of a reputation - I am now a 'pimp'; why this is so is beyond me; hanging out with girls is hardly a reason for people to believe that I'm getting any. From now on, I'm going to make 'proud member of J Schnorng's harem' T-shirts, just so I can be in the loop about all these girls I'm allegedly getting. If you're one of my many mysterious sex slaves, could you please notify me so I can possibly get some action? Thanks a bunch!

Moving on, I'm still battling my silly nicotine addiction (though, considering college lifestyles, nicotine should be pretty far down on my list of substances to be worried about); it's going ok, I suppose - life without cigarettes is kind of trying from time to time, though, and this is allegedly bad. Yes.

What else can I say now? Oh yes, I can appeal to all my friends to email me, because I love you guys. Ok, to be honest, I don't really love all of you, and am, in fact, mildly annoyed by a good deal of you, but all the rest of you, please drop me a line to tell you you're still alive. Hurrah!