It's been almost a month with no discernable activity from your less than favourite online friend. This does not mean nothing has been going on; far from it. I have been to the depths of, er, other dimensions and back, in my quest for universal truth and beauty. This, naturally, is a euphemism for goofing off and playing copious amounts of Championship Manager. Some of you may be interested to know that DJ Mastacool's Arsenal have won their fifth consecutive league championship and Joel Tan has been voted FIFA World Player of the year for the third year running, after scoring a monumental 198 goals in all competitions in the 05/06 season. I would go on about the status of this wonder team, but then, that would ruin your unabated joy should you visit me and see it for yourself. See how considerate!

What else has been going on in my life? Ah, all the torrid details are best left to myself, I suppose. Interested parties should feel free to ask subtle questions in private so that I can ignore them and go back to sleep. Sleep is at quite a premium in snowy Chicago, which is why I do my best to hoard as much of it as I can.

So here it begins again, a seemingly promising account of the juicy details of my non-existent sex-life degenerating into more pseudo-philosophical rambling. Ah, the joys of disconnected streams of consciousness, frolicking with each other in a frenzy of poorly written, er, shit!

By the way, shit.