There are some drugs you really shouldn't be alone on.
I know it's going to pass, and I know it'll be alright soon, but sometimes I really want to kill myself. Have I got your attention yet? Don't worry, I'm completely bullshitting. I can't put that razor to my wrist, I'm too afraid. Too afraid to die. It's just that sometimes you feel alone and just want to do it, just want to see whether someone will come.
Except, of course, I know no one will. It's 3am in the morning, so if I were to make a clean cut now, I'd be dead by the time anyone woke up, not that anyone would come into my room even if they were awake. Dead people make very little noise, and give very little cause to be disturbed. After I missed my flight on Thursday, after my parents tried frantically to contact me, after there was a faint odour coming out of my room, maybe then they'd discover my lifeless body, and everyone would think, 'boy, I didn't see that coming'; I'd be looking on, dead, feeling sorry for myself.
Yeah, fine, maybe I am alone right now, but if I were dead, then I'd still be alone. And stupid. Sometimes, though, it doesn't seem like such a bad thing.